This idea of love has been on my mind lately. What does it mean to love my neighbor? I have often felt a lot of pressure around this idea of loving other people unconditionally, regardless if I like them, if they get on my nerves, or if they just aren't very fun to be around.
A few months ago someone I know was talking about a friend of theirs. He told me that his friend made him a scarf, and said with a smile on his face, "I love her." For some reason this really got on my nerves...of course he loves her! She does things for him, makes him feel good. I'm not sure why this bothered me so much, but I am beginning to realize that sometimes i feel resentful towards myself and others for our imperfect kind of love. I know that love is a two-way street, and that any relationship takes mutuality and reciprocity from both sides. But isn't love supposed to be unconditional? Am I willing to love someone even when they fail me and let me down? Or, an even more scary thought...will someone be willing to love me even when I fail them, when I am not perfect?
I am beginning to come to grips with my own humanness, my own imperfect kind of love. The expectations I have placed around love have been extremely high: I expect myself and others to love like God does. This has caused me to place a lot of pressure on myself, and to become resentful. But only His love is perfect. His love is pure and true, it is strong and unwavering, it endures forever, and it never fails. This is the kind of love that I need, the kind of love that breaks my heart and gets me through the day, the kind that warms me up and changes me. "We love because He first loved us." I am finding this verse to be so true...that my capacity to love God, love others and love myself comes from the kind of love that He has for me. My love is still imperfect and human, but I am grateful for His kind of love, and hopeful that my love can become a little bit more like His.
