I miss you so much. I am so sad that you are gone, and I am not sure how I am going to make it along without you. I miss hugging you, and feeling your big strong arms around me. I miss holding your hand, and walking with your arm around me down our street to the beach, usually doing a double-skip so that my feet are walking in sink with yours. I miss the way you calm me down and make me laugh and make me feel good about myself...I remember over Christmas break I mentioned one night that I thought my personality was "too intense" and you simply stated, "I like your personality!" Hearing that made me feel so much better. And when I got a mean note on my car from someone who said that I was resting my car on their bumper when I parked, and that they were going to contact their insurance and that they took pictures, you were just like, "Well, things happen. It's no big deal. They're probably just saying that, and if we get something from our insurance, we'll deal with it then. Don't even worry about it." And I felt so relieved! (which, btw, I do vaguely remember feeling a little bump when I parked, but I was in such a hurry that I didn't even think to look :/ ).
I am going to miss you so much- my birthday, graduation, moving (if I decide to), Christmas...I can't imagine these times without you. We had so much fun together- going to the beach, going on bike rides, going out to eat, making trips to Wal-Mart and Albertsons and the Redbox, doing dishes...I just love being with you. You make me laugh like no one else, and I am really going to miss that.
Daddy, you were too young to go, and I don't understand why this has happened. I really wish you would come back. I know you wouldn't want me to be sad, or cry over you, but I am SO sad...how could I not be? I know you didn't want this to happen, and you would have done everything in your power to have prevented it. I feel SO sad, like the ground has been pulled out from under me. You loved me so fully and unconditionally, and I am not even sure why! But you did, and I will hold your love for me in my heart forever. I don't know how I am going to go on or get through this, but I know that God is carrying me, and will help me. Us girls are going to be okay, but we are going to miss you so very much. I believe in my heart that I will see you again in Heaven, and I pray that that day comes soon. Please stay in my heart, and give me the strength and courage to get through this. I need you, and I love you.
Love,
Your Daughter Nikki
