shame

Have you ever done something that you thought was a good idea at the time, but then, after you did it, realized that maybe it wasn't such a good idea? And then, whatever you did, in your head, the thing grows and grows until it becomes this HUGE monster that torments you for days, even months, and makes you both laugh at yourself and bury your face in your hands, and feel this sinking sensation in the pit of your stomach, where you just want to curl over and die and be buried in the earth and covered in complete darkness, with the lights turned out, and sink and sink until there is nothing left but darkness and nothing and nothing all around? Well, i feel like that sometimes.

turning the lights out now.